The Art of Consuming Healing Media
a pod on mindful consumption changed everything for me
There are a handful of common adoption tropes and architypes I find pretty disturbing in entertainment; birth parents are dangerous, poor, and deplorable, while adoptive families are heroic, affluent, and educated; the babies are better off with strangers who want to give them a better life, and birth mothers are generous for their sacrifice. Oh, and birth fathers don’t matter and don’t get a say. Secrets are kept; and adopted people are thankful, angry, or forgiving upon learning whichever version of the truth they are fed. Stories often focus primarily on the perspective of the adoptive parents, sometimes birth parents, but rarely the perspective of the adopted person.
I am thrilled when writers and producers consult with adoptees about their experiences in an effort to give them a voice. If the realities of adoption were accurately portrayed, what change could be possible?
Our feelings could be valued. Our experiences could touch hearts. People would be exposed to one basic truth: that every human instinctively wants to be with their original parents no matter what, that circumstance or moral judgments don’t change this, that the adopted baby, child, and teen grieves throughout their lifespan, that they feel powerless, confused, lost, alone, and that sometimes adoptive families are abusive, neglectful, or unsafe. What if people felt inspired to offer support to vulnerable birth parents instead of promoting adoption as a quick-fix solution? What if adoptive families felt inspired not to keep secrets surrounding the adoption? What if we tried to accept that accurate portrayal of adoption would make people feel uncomfortable? Could that discomfort lead to healthy changes?
During my recovery from discovering my origin story, I learned that entertainment could be a powerful source of pain or healing. I was drawn to crime mysteries with an element of secrecy. I also enjoyed stories about adoption and adoption discovery. They made me cry, and yell at the screen. Sometimes the experiences of the characters validated my feelings, and other times adoption stories would upset me, and I would have trouble calming down. I had a lot of mixed emotions.
Then one day I came across the term “mindful consumption” when listening to a podcast. The idea being that what I consume, in the form of food, entertainment, association, etc., becomes a part of me. I began to reflect: “Who do I want to become? Is what I’m consuming in alignment with who I want to be?
How much of life boils down to that question; who do I want to be?
Conscientious about the quality of food I consumed; I began to think of media and entertainment as a type of food for my heart, mind, and spirit. I noticed how my body felt when reading or watching the kinds of things I was accustomed to, and became curious about how I might feel if I chose to take a conscientious break.
I began watching peaceful nature documentaries, slice-of-life anime, and indie films. I found music that was peaceful, with positive healing messages. I began to notice my emotions, my breathing and heart rate, my thoughts, and any body sensations while consuming. I still view entertainment that includes adoption themes, but now I am purposeful, and I try to notice if it is helping me or hurting me.
Making this change was very difficult at first. It meant communicating to friends and family that I no longer wanted to take in some of the shows we had been watching, and being strict with what I viewed when I was alone. Although this was a challenge, it felt good to stand up for myself and my needs. Now my consumption nourishes me, brings me joy, and helps me rest and heal.
I’m not suggesting that the change I made is the change anyone else needs to make; and I invite you to reflect on yourself, your needs, and feelings about what you consume. Is there a shift worth considering? Once I made this change, I felt a powerful internal shift. I started sleeping better, and feeling more hopeful and in touch with my self. I can’t imagine going back.
More on this in my upcoming book - YOU BELONG HERE <3
With you ~ Meaghan